So some ex-Google-tards decide to leave Google and make their own search engine. Right, since so many great things have come from ex-google-tards. The best is, what, FriendFeed? With the exception of all these "Web 2.0" zealots, it's pretty much just pure rubbish.
But anyways, they made Cuil. Or is it Cuill. Though you pronounce it "cool." Yeah, that name choice will certainly work out for them.
Zealot: Hey, you should try Cuil. It's so awesome. OMG. It's a "cuil" way to search. Hehehehe.
Random Guy: Umm, ok.
Later, Random Guy proceeds to try cool.com. Fails. Then Googles cool. Gets Wikipedia articles and a Gwen Stephanie video. Says screw it, and goes about doing something more productive. Like watching pr0n.
With their $33 million, you would've thought they might have been able to secure cool.com or at least think of a less retarded name, but I guess you can never underestimate the genius of 2.0. Obscure names are just as cool as they are useful!
But name-fail behind them, their product is this totally, completely awesome, and web, no wait, world changing technology. Not.
Let's just try a generic search of 'paintball':
Google:

Cuiooooll:

Notice how Google's is really relevant, while Quillllll just isn't? Let's go through the problems, shall we:
- Explore By Category. Paintball Markers? Good. Pneumatic Weapons? Not Bad. Commodore 64 Games? Umm, not really. Marvel Comics Supervillains? No. Towns In New York? Yeah, Huntington would be Huntington Beach, which is on the other side of the country. 1990's American Television Series? Ok, now you just lost me.
- Result box positioning. "Hey, let's just put the result right under each other, ignoring length." "Great idea. Computing something to make the results seem orderly would be hard."
- Results. A parked domain, tripod site (they seem to still exist), a canadian store, 3 spam sites, 1 wikipedia article (hey, that's useful), and a couple of actually relevant sites. Yeah, that's really sad.
- Crappy bottom toolbar thing or whatever the hell you would call it that takes up 33 pixels of the page to display a 2/3 columns switcher, which both are horrendous, and the pagination part, since going to page 2 is so useful after not having seen page 1. They have so much confidence in their first page that they know you won't find whatever you're looking for on there.
- Black or white. Pick one.
And they're just trying too hard to be Google, but want to look like they aren't. Really simple home page, but it's different because it's black and blue instead of green and white. And instead of being centered, it's kinda off centered, because that's the king of usefulness. Results are still blue link, black description, and green url link. But the results are in columns, which is so much different. Usability be damned.
They also decided to add random pictures to random results.

Where the hell did they get that picture from? I've never seen it before. And what are they? Drawers? What does that have to do with xrho.com or sites. Pretty sure this will cause some problems with people not wanting to be associated with whatever picture is next to it. I personally don't want this site to be associated with some sort drawers, unless they're really awesome ones, which these clearly aren't.
Then there's this:

Don't know what the hell happened there. The second page just says it can't find any results. Great coding there guys.
Also, what's with this TRACKID cookie you're pushing to my computer. I thought you only saved my preferences which was sent with each request and you didn't store any user information. What the fuck? Something called TRACKID definitely doesn't fall into this.
Editing the 'cols' cookie is fun though.

Uggh. Whatever. I'm sure there's so much more fail that I probably missed. Anyways, you guys should've stayed "stealth" (as dumbass Arrington calls it) forever.
Note: I don't read TechCrunch, just saw the shitty headline in TechMeme.